November 28,2009

Amazing month, out here on the road, with Edwin McCain.

Tonight, we just finished playing the Orange Peel in Asheville, NC.

Thanksgiving was yesterday…and tonight felt like the night to give back.

I decided to give the money from CD sales at tonight’s show to World
Vision, to help build a Water Well in South Africa. We raised enough to
do so….Thanks to all the kind people in Asheville!

And then….Edwin decided to do the same….and wrote a check to build
another Water Well.

Possibly the best Thanksgiving I will ever have.

I’ve learned a lot from Edwin and his team. I’ve learned a lot from his
audience.

My buddy, Clay Caissie, has been driving the miles in the van…and
handling everything else that goes into a given day out here.

I am grateful beyond words.

Can’t wait to walk the road ahead…………

Nathan

Man…..this was a long one. Its 2:38 am. I started at 6 am this morning.

Made it on the 7 am ferry.

Drove 5 hours to Albany.

And guess who was there….Tony Lucido.

Tony took me for a drive, to see the house where I spent 6 years of my youth. A house that my father built in 1984….in a little town called Feura Bush, up on Morning Star Lane. An awesome house, framed with Barrn beams. New owners took down the wood siding and put on vinyl…..and then it dawned on me…some things change.

Some things, you cant go back to. Some things, you have to let go of. How that will play out in my life…not sure…but that’s what dawned on me today.

We headed over to meet Scott Womer….who got a gig set up for tonight, at a pub in Troy…… a short ways from Albany.

Here’s the really cool part. Tony called his old buddy, , and we got together and learned a few songs. And….Scott Womer has his office next door…and let us rehearse. What I saw in people today….was a level of giving, that I havent seen in a long time. Here’s whats interesting….Scott works for a church. He…and his team…helped….all day. Not only did they help with moving gear….and running sound, but with kindness…and sharing their time. They didn’t have to do that…nor did the guys have to spend time rehearsing the songs….but they did….and I was shown the grace for another day….undeserving….and grateful….beyond words.

What I saw today…lead me to a question….for the first time in over a year…Will I ever go back to church….? I’m not looking for the answer tonight….but the question didn’t hurt as much to ask this time.

Sold 19 CD’s. Met the Bones parents…Bob & Sheila! Really cool people tonight…passionate.

Packed the van….and drove 3 hours south to PA.

Exhausted. Time to catch up on sleep. Show in Bangor tomorrow/tonight…wow its late.

My heart has been stretched in 48 hours.

I pray for strength.

Ahh….The halfway mark. An amazing day in the middle of nowhere. Didnt wake up till 9 am….and even got a nap. There’s not a ton to say about today. Sleep…and food….exactly what I needed. The halfway mark was calm and gentle.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Contemporary Music Center….well….this is where I was last year, teaching songwriting (can song writing be taught?….the never ending question)….be as it may…I spent a semester at the CMC…and it changed my life. So….coming back o the CMC on Martha’s Vineyard, is truly an honor. (Check this place out online, especially if you’re a college student)

I played for the students and staff of semester 17 tonight…and to be quit honest….tonight is what its all about. Sharing music, Discussing music, Seeking God…..and asking why. This place is full of passion. To make it cooler….the Program Director / Founder, Warren Pettit, sat in and asked me questions throughout the set…..asking me to elaborate on stories from the road, and stories about what God has been doing while out here…..followed by songs……stories and songs…..what a night. He even jumped in on B3 for the last song. (for you accountants, that’s an organ) This evening left me asking new questions. Good questions.

Spent some time afterwards, under the stars…..martha’s vineyard….look up….and you’ll see them brighter than ever before.

All in all….I’m doin’ okay today….possibly better than okay….blessed to of made it halfway.

OH…..before I forget…..I had a debt to pay when I got here….a debt from last year…for old phone bills while on campus…..I used the last of my CD money to pay the debt…..and just realized I’m leaving the Island with Three times the amount of the debt from tonights CD sales/gifts ……and so….Once again….The 11th hour played its hand.

Goodbye Martha. Thank you Contemporary Music Center. Goodnight God.

Let’s break it down.

Got No sleep….just couldn’t.

Get to the ferry at 8 am. Ferry leaves at 9.

Got the van & Trailer on the ferry.

Slept in the van from Port Jefferson, Long Island to Bridgeport, Conneticut.

Just an FYI….cost for van and trailer….130 bucks….that hurt.

Drove 2 hours north, to a town called Millbury.

This got set up by my buddy Tony Lucido’s dad…BOB.

BUT….cool surpise…when I got there…Tony showed up…he flew in from Nashville.

Played the Block party….with the bone on bass….and Bob on sound…..AWESOME!

Its that kind of friendship that we can all learn from. Think about it…..

I’m too selfish to get on a plane and show up in the middle of nowhere to encourage a friend…..but after today….I hope I never forget that lesson….or that kind of friendship.

Might I ad…..this was smalltown America….where you see some interesting things. I saw 10 year old cheerleaders doing naughty dance cheers to Britney songs….and a cover band that changed the lyrics to Bon Jovi to spiritual matters….and I paid 3 bucks to smash a computer with a sledge hammer…..yeah…..that all happened today.

Took off to see Martha around 5 (as in…martha’s vineyard)

I’m writing this on the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard right now. They even have WIFI on these boats. I left the van on the main land…..screw those fee’s.

Playing at The Contemporary Music Center tomorrow…where I taught songwritng last year. I’m at peace right now…sitting on this boat…the sky is black…the stars are bright….and its Almost DAY 20….Ive almost MADE IT HALFWAY!

Thanks to those of you who got me here…..you know who you are.

And God…..whewww…..thanks…..love ya.

Cant wait for my feet to touch that Island.

What a day….the bottom line is this…Long Island is where its at! The people…the pizza….and the passion!~

Left Pennsylvania around noon….got to Long Island at 3. AND THEN…..I went looking for pizza like a junky looking for his dealer. Not far from my destination in Centereach is an Italian joint called Amicci’s…..and there’s no question…..YOU’VE NEVER HAD BETTER!

Headed to my buddy Bert’s house…..and down shifted. Bert knows how to live in first gear, better than I….but he’s awesome at fifth gear as well.

I’ve known Bert since I’ve been a teen….from camp. He’s now a pastor…..the real deal kind of pastor. He’s been an amazing friend to me over the years…..above and beyond.

He knows what it means to stay the course….he’s seen Faith do things that don’t make sense….and he never quits….he only follows the whisper.

Bert and his wife opened up their back yard for a party…for their friends….and it rocked. Amazing people….Beautiful hearts….Awesome food…..it was a Damn good night!!! THANKS BERT! I LOVE YA!

AND…to top it off…..a little more faith unfolded…..our new friend Terry, who we met online….got us a hotel room….with the best bed Ive ever laid in. Thank you Terry!

Leaving for Boston in the early morning….leaving my heart in New York…..or perhaps…it was in New York all along. Time for sleep.

Slowly starting to see things differently…..Its good.

Ahhhhh. Take a deep Breath. Ya feel it?……thats how I felt all day!

I LOVE NEW YOR CITY!~

The people….and everything about who they are and who they aren’t. The culture is rich!

I grew up playing bars in NYC, and I miss it so much. I love Nashville as well…..but if its up to me…theyre gonna burry me in this city….new goal….to make it north of the Mason Dixon Line before I die!

My buddy Gitano, down in Nashville, hooked me up at the bar in NYC where he used to play, called BAR NINE. Next time your in new york…..This is the bar to hang at. Great people…great food…great atmosphere. West side. 9th ave. between 53rd and 54th.

I met some great folks as well. They all had stories. Some stories were about the hard times….actually…most of the stories were about hard times……and it dawned on me…..were all in this together.

Its not about record deals….or finding a job in this shitty economy….its about eachother….helping and loving eachother…..when we can help eachother…..weve got what we need. Were all in need….so may we give a little more….and might we be willing to receive a little more, despite our pride.

I couldn’t survive right now, if it weren’t for kind folks at shows, and those on PayPal. The flip side…I need to give back…and trust that everything will be okay.

We all have something to give…and we all have a need….its finding that balance….THAT I CALL LIVING!

Thank you New York City! And thanks to those of you who quietly slipped gas money in my pocket….

May our hearts be filled with hope…..NO MATTER HOW HARD.

someone remind me I wrote this, if I end up in a truckstop at 2 am again

Short blog.

Ran out of money.

Spent the day on the phone…in the middle of Pennsylvania….working out details so I can keep going. ALL DAY.

Back on the road tomorrow….heading to Hells Kitchen.

A few days away from half way.

Thank you to all those who believe in Paypal!!!

Off to bed.

WOW….what a day! This was a cool one…but it ended pretty hard. I got up to Philly around 2:30. My sister lives there…so I got to hang with her and her kids….mini golf…good times. Then…I headed to a Hookah Bar for an open mic. I think Ive done all the open mics I can do.

Here’s where it gets interesting…I headed out for Ocean City, Maryland around midnight. I had a radio interview in the morning…that’s right…I said “HAD”…..BUT….check this out. I get on the turnpike for my 3 hour drive to make my morning interview…and I get on the northbound instead of the southbound….25 miles out of the way. So I pull over to gas up…..only to find out there’s no more money…all

accounts overdrawn. STUCK. At this point…I cant fuel up…and I cant even afford to pay the tolls to get off the interstate. So….Im standing in the WAWA parking lot….laughing….when a Garbage truck pulls up.

An older Hispanic fellow gets out to go get some coffee. He walks up to me and says (in a thick Hispanic accent)….”hey man….whats with your van and trailer?”….so I tell him about the 40dayrisk and what I do and how Im out of money. He starts to laugh and says ”man….you are totally screwed”…I laughed with him and agreed. His humor was so awesome that I decided to give him a CD. When I handed it to him, he gave me 20 bucks. He said “man…you cant even get back off of the turnpike with no money…so use it for tolls”

I checked the GPS…..and wouldn’t ya know it…my parents lived about 2 hours away….and there was only enough gas to get that far. So I called my Dad and asked him if I could come to his house in the middle of the night….and that’s where I ended up.

So now…I wait for PayPal to clear…a possible investor to come through…..and wait it out. One way or another…Ill be in NYC tomorrow night to play in Hell’s Kitchen.

That was Day 15. Bottom line is this. Faith is far more reliable than great business plans…..but its so much harder…that I cant put it into words. Im not saying that smart business folks aren’t needed…..theyre more than needed…things cant happen without them. But on day 15…I learned this…..with all of the talented and intelligent people around me….it took a garbage man to get me out of the mess.

By the way…as he walked away, heading back to his garbage truck, he said this “wait till I get home and tell my wife that I make more money than someone else, she’s gonna’ be so happy!”

Carlos…..I cant thank you enough…..you brought me sincere Joy and Laughter in the middle of the storm!

The first 2 weeks are now behind. One question that no longer needs to be asked over and over and over…..does faith work? Yeah…it does. The hard part is no longer the question…I’ve gotten really good at asking the question, and found the answer to be the same every time. The hard part is simply this….the circumstances that lead you to the answer. In a strange way…it’s like watching the movie “TITANIC”. You know how its gonna play out before you watch it….but you watch it over and over…..because of the journey. There’s no question that God will lead you if you don’t let go of his hand…..sometimes he will lead you to be silent…other times to go back…other times to go forward. The interesting and deeper level of faith…is the circumstances. Its not about the Boat….its about the circumstances out on the water. And more so…..why do we never question our faith until there’s a hole in the boat? Why does that hole have to be in the boat to have a better understanding of faith? Or the bigger question….does it?

I cant figure this all out in one day….or even a lifetime….but I can say this….I found myself at a truckstop today….and out of money. I let people know what was going on via twitter…..and they helped. Within 6 hours, there was 300.00 in the account. Now….lets break that down into hard reality. First off…paypal transfers don’t clear for 4 days….so the money isn’t ACTUALLY there yet. Second….It costs 200.00 p/day to be on the road. That probably sounds like a lot of money…BECAUSE IT IS….until you compare it to a normal tour budget. (And next to a normal tour budget….well…..It’s kinda’ like putting a skateboard next to a BMW and betting on a race…there’s no comparison.) All that being said…200 p/day covers fuel, food, lodging. Not easy. I somehow found a hotel that has really cheap rooms, due to the fact that a guy back in Nashville was able to get me a corporate rate. I’m talking cheap. I’ve used my own money out here….not just business money. . Once I got in to the room…not minutes after…I got a text….”keep going…Ill cover it”.

So here’s where my head went….”did I beg?”… “am I doing something I shouldn’t be doing?”….”was that wrong to even let people know that I was in a hard spot?”…. “am I the worst business man that ever walked the planet?”….”is it unfair of me to ask for help in what I’m doing?”….. ”is enough, enough?”…I still don’t have answers for these questions….all I have…is simply this….a tiny little whisper….so faint, that I can hardly hear it….and it lead me to this hotel room….where the check card somehow cleared.

The balance of BUSINESS and FAITH and ART and COMMERCE and TRUST…have all come to a screeching crash today! They all met in the same room…together….and it doesn’t seem like they’re very fond of one another. I’m interested to see if they’ll learn how to get along. I’m interested to see if we might find a way to all be friends. I love music. I love making music for people. BUT…that only takes up an hour of my day when doing shows…..it’s those other 23 hours of my day that I call the circumstances….the test…the Whisper.

The upside to all this….I learned something today….its not always about the question were asking….often times it’s listening for the whisper in the middle of the circumstances…..we wont always like what we hear….and the timeline can often be brutle…..BUT….way down deep…in the belly of faith…Yeah…..that’s where things get really interesting.

Its time for sleep….or nothing will get clearer. Without clarity…were on pause.